Epilogue

It's been awhile since I last wrote and things had gone sour between me and school, yes.. and by school I'm pointing my finger towards a specific cow specimen who manages the international program at school. So I will leave the final chapter of the little adventure that was, unwritten. I am simply done with school and now that I have been out for a while in "the work force"... I am kind of enjoying the rhythm of my week. I like the feeling of finishing up for the day and especially riding home on Sunday mornings from work. So let me describe a bit my new life as an intern, it's far from glamorous.... on Tuesday to Friday I take the first metro at 5.36 and arrive at work just in time for me to start at 6am. My stage (internship) is in a small patisserie in the 12e arrondisement, it is actually quite renowned but I'm not going to name it. The team including the chef consists of 3 commis, an apprenti and 2 sous chefs, a boulanger plus me the stagiare.

I honestly feel extremely lucky that my working hours are not body breakingly long... I normally finish around 14h-14h30. On Saturday my hours are 4am to 13h and Sunday 4-8h. Recently I actually appreciate starting at 4am because I get to see and do a bit more than on weekdays. The team there are quite nice. Most of the time I get to be told around by either the chef or the sous chefs. I find the chef a bit crazy! But he is tolerable if you know how to walk on egg shells. Somehow I think he likes me a bit, cos I am a good worker and I from time to time initiate chit chat but he is appalled at the way I work more often than not.

A typical weekday would be me arriving when most of the patisserie for the day been finished and done ready to be put up in the shop, 6am is so late! The chef starts at 2am everyday, the commis at 4 and the sous chefs boulanger and apprenti at 5.30. I would start by helping the sous chef giving tours for the croissant dough, then if there are some fonçage (lining tart mould with dough) to be done then the four of us would do that, followed by emballage (packaging) of the little cakes for the shop... Sometimes we attack it together the four or even five of us sometimes it's only me and the apprentis. I find that my chef likes to get things done together and therefore quicker. The days when we have emballage nougat or caramel or making mendiants it would be all 7 of us on the deck including the chef going Allez Allez Allez!!

Then 2-3 of us would clean the floor around 7am whilst the chef set up shop, I normally run up with him to faire sortir la terrasse. I then get told around to do this and that until the chef comes back from his break, normally I go to do plonge... As a stagiare I kind of assume the responsibility to do plonge, but here everybody including the chef does it from time to time. I regularly get told off if I hang around near the sink rather than following the sous chef immediately. Around 8 we would do croissants and pains au chocolats which by now I think I've rolled about a thousand of each... Our viennoiserie is one of the best in Paris, and I am lucky to have access to see and be involved in the fabrication of it. A beginner that I am, I know a texture of a pâte when it is exceptional. Once or twice when the dough feels amazingly supple and smooth I compliment the commis... I also compliment him when the texture of the crème pâtissière is incredible. I don't know how he feels about getting compliments not from the chef but from a stagiare haha but I thought he should know that he is doing an amazing job! Anyway he knows it when it's amazing and gives me a nod when I told him la texture de la crème est super bonne aujourd'hui.

Then after croissant we stock away the deliveries that would start arriving whilst the chef and the sous chefs start preparing the fruits for mise en place, occasionally I get to peel a box of apples with a machine à pommes... or cutting up the fruits for the tartes, sometimes I get to garnir the tartes with the apprenti and the chef. Afterwards we normally attack! the salad... By the time we finish normally it's already around 10.30-11h and we would be busy preparing for the next day. Lots of plaquages and so it's time for me getting told to fetch this and that. Sometimes I get to do the beurre plaques for the next day, but most often than not it's me doing the runs fetching pâtes and butter for the sous chef looking at how he works at the laminoir. Around midi we start cleaning and after the commis leave at 13h, it's ad hoc time for me and the sous chefs... Whether we would be doing mise en places for tomorrow or we would be finishing up something from today then around 14h if we are all good to go, me and the two sous chefs switch off the lights and finish for the day.

One of my task in the afternoon is my favourite, travailler la crème pâtissière. Some of my classmates do get to make it at their intern place! Whilst I only get to use the gros mixer to loosen up the texture. The extent of pastry work I do there is just that, when we do petits gateaux, entremets or the bûches I pose the insert and the biscuit and smooth out the mousse... When we do chaussons aux pommes, I put the dorure on spoon out the filling and close. I'm afraid I don't do enough pastry work here which is why I want to find another internship to see how things are done elsewhere. And the school doesn't let me, by not letting me I meant I won't be getting another contract issued by the school because apparently my internship is going well so no reason for me to move. The unfairness is off the scale because I know there are students who do get away with two, because they really have a "problem", and what sort of problem is that? how is it that the school is supportive of those who threw in the towel early and is this not a case of positive discrimination this? I am really dégoûtée.

I think the first part of this journey has completely ended, when we talk about this within my group I used a metaphor that being at school was like being in a mother's womb, after the cords are cut the mother gave us away to orphanage. And then she gets pregnant again... for some baby bonus $$$. A sad twist in this whole internship unfairness debacle crap is that I have become estranged with my chef who I used to adore. I am still so angry at him for having, not only, not having cared but not having been supportive at all. In fact in my case he was the one who single handedly brought this problem to the surface, and after there was no remorse no sympathy no sorry instead he said no special treatment for anybody (not true!!!), don't complain to me, not my decison, in short il s'en fout... I don't know if I am ever going to bother saying hi again. Call me petty but this bitterness really lingers.

Maybe if I have something exciting to write about I will, I have another two weeks at the shop and what is to come is still up in the air. I believe everything happens for a reason and people come in and out of your life to teach you a lesson. Wish me luck, hopefully I have good news to share soon.

Melinda x