Seasons Greetings

Merry Christmas and all the very best wishes for the New Year! It's crazy that suddenly it's the end of the December, time flies and I still remember when I wished time would just freeze for a bit and that I could stay at school just a tad longer. School now already feels like a distant past, and I am enjoying being out there working in the 'real world'. The day before I was due to finished up at my first internship place on a Sunday at the end of October, my chef stopped me and glared at me seriously. Ça t'interesse travailler dans un resto? Ummm... Oui... But it will just be you doing all the patisserie... the chef will show you and you do it after. Ummmm... I honestly never thought of trying out patisserie restaurant but I would never turn down an opportunity thrown at me. So I said, can I do a trial? Ok good, I will call him to say you want to try. It's at chez Philippe... he needs someone until the end of the year. I thought oh ok so it's for Monsieur Philippe as we call him at the shop, a friend of the chef. He called him and said go there on Monday 9am don't be late. To cut long story short, I have been working there since doing the lunch and dinner service everyday from Tuesday to Saturday.

In the beginning I was missing the hum drum of patisserie boutique, it's very different working in a restaurant kitchen plus I was missing the camaraderie of a team. But luckily I quickly settled in, my chef was nice in the first couple of weeks then became tough the two weeks after. Many times I was told that I was wasting time and did things wrong in his eyes and he always questioned why I did what I had done. So much so that I thought he had regretted hiring me, but then he asked you will come back tomorrow? You will get there, don't say you are not good enough for this post. Lately I am doing better and stressful as it can be, I like working there... I actually have autonomy and responsibilities. There were of course times where he tells me off and makes me feel quite miserable and a bit useless, but from time to time he would say tu as fait de progrès! Tu as fait bon service! Tu etais bien organisée! Il est beau ton soufflé! Elles sont magnifiques tes tourtes! Ils sont bels tes clafoutis! He is my favourite chef of the moment, I have another week to go, I hope I end on a good note.

In the New Year I look forward to a new start. Wishing you all a great 2017, good health, full of happy moments and lots of love. Take care!

Love xx
Melinda

Epilogue

It's been awhile since I last wrote and things had gone sour between me and school, yes.. and by school I'm pointing my finger towards a specific cow specimen who manages the international program at school. So I will leave the final chapter of the little adventure that was, unwritten. I am simply done with school and now that I have been out for a while in "the work force"... I am kind of enjoying the rhythm of my week. I like the feeling of finishing up for the day and especially riding home on Sunday mornings from work. So let me describe a bit my new life as an intern, it's far from glamorous.... on Tuesday to Friday I take the first metro at 5.36 and arrive at work just in time for me to start at 6am. My stage (internship) is in a small patisserie in the 12e arrondisement, it is actually quite renowned but I'm not going to name it. The team including the chef consists of 3 commis, an apprenti and 2 sous chefs, a boulanger plus me the stagiare.

I honestly feel extremely lucky that my working hours are not body breakingly long... I normally finish around 14h-14h30. On Saturday my hours are 4am to 13h and Sunday 4-8h. Recently I actually appreciate starting at 4am because I get to see and do a bit more than on weekdays. The team there are quite nice. Most of the time I get to be told around by either the chef or the sous chefs. I find the chef a bit crazy! But he is tolerable if you know how to walk on egg shells. Somehow I think he likes me a bit, cos I am a good worker and I from time to time initiate chit chat but he is appalled at the way I work more often than not.

A typical weekday would be me arriving when most of the patisserie for the day been finished and done ready to be put up in the shop, 6am is so late! The chef starts at 2am everyday, the commis at 4 and the sous chefs boulanger and apprenti at 5.30. I would start by helping the sous chef giving tours for the croissant dough, then if there are some fonçage (lining tart mould with dough) to be done then the four of us would do that, followed by emballage (packaging) of the little cakes for the shop... Sometimes we attack it together the four or even five of us sometimes it's only me and the apprentis. I find that my chef likes to get things done together and therefore quicker. The days when we have emballage nougat or caramel or making mendiants it would be all 7 of us on the deck including the chef going Allez Allez Allez!!

Then 2-3 of us would clean the floor around 7am whilst the chef set up shop, I normally run up with him to faire sortir la terrasse. I then get told around to do this and that until the chef comes back from his break, normally I go to do plonge... As a stagiare I kind of assume the responsibility to do plonge, but here everybody including the chef does it from time to time. I regularly get told off if I hang around near the sink rather than following the sous chef immediately. Around 8 we would do croissants and pains au chocolats which by now I think I've rolled about a thousand of each... Our viennoiserie is one of the best in Paris, and I am lucky to have access to see and be involved in the fabrication of it. A beginner that I am, I know a texture of a pâte when it is exceptional. Once or twice when the dough feels amazingly supple and smooth I compliment the commis... I also compliment him when the texture of the crème pâtissière is incredible. I don't know how he feels about getting compliments not from the chef but from a stagiare haha but I thought he should know that he is doing an amazing job! Anyway he knows it when it's amazing and gives me a nod when I told him la texture de la crème est super bonne aujourd'hui.

Then after croissant we stock away the deliveries that would start arriving whilst the chef and the sous chefs start preparing the fruits for mise en place, occasionally I get to peel a box of apples with a machine à pommes... or cutting up the fruits for the tartes, sometimes I get to garnir the tartes with the apprenti and the chef. Afterwards we normally attack! the salad... By the time we finish normally it's already around 10.30-11h and we would be busy preparing for the next day. Lots of plaquages and so it's time for me getting told to fetch this and that. Sometimes I get to do the beurre plaques for the next day, but most often than not it's me doing the runs fetching pâtes and butter for the sous chef looking at how he works at the laminoir. Around midi we start cleaning and after the commis leave at 13h, it's ad hoc time for me and the sous chefs... Whether we would be doing mise en places for tomorrow or we would be finishing up something from today then around 14h if we are all good to go, me and the two sous chefs switch off the lights and finish for the day.

One of my task in the afternoon is my favourite, travailler la crème pâtissière. Some of my classmates do get to make it at their intern place! Whilst I only get to use the gros mixer to loosen up the texture. The extent of pastry work I do there is just that, when we do petits gateaux, entremets or the bûches I pose the insert and the biscuit and smooth out the mousse... When we do chaussons aux pommes, I put the dorure on spoon out the filling and close. I'm afraid I don't do enough pastry work here which is why I want to find another internship to see how things are done elsewhere. And the school doesn't let me, by not letting me I meant I won't be getting another contract issued by the school because apparently my internship is going well so no reason for me to move. The unfairness is off the scale because I know there are students who do get away with two, because they really have a "problem", and what sort of problem is that? how is it that the school is supportive of those who threw in the towel early and is this not a case of positive discrimination this? I am really dégoûtée.

I think the first part of this journey has completely ended, when we talk about this within my group I used a metaphor that being at school was like being in a mother's womb, after the cords are cut the mother gave us away to orphanage. And then she gets pregnant again... for some baby bonus $$$. A sad twist in this whole internship unfairness debacle crap is that I have become estranged with my chef who I used to adore. I am still so angry at him for having, not only, not having cared but not having been supportive at all. In fact in my case he was the one who single handedly brought this problem to the surface, and after there was no remorse no sympathy no sorry instead he said no special treatment for anybody (not true!!!), don't complain to me, not my decison, in short il s'en fout... I don't know if I am ever going to bother saying hi again. Call me petty but this bitterness really lingers.

Maybe if I have something exciting to write about I will, I have another two weeks at the shop and what is to come is still up in the air. I believe everything happens for a reason and people come in and out of your life to teach you a lesson. Wish me luck, hopefully I have good news to share soon.

Melinda x

The past month in retrospective part 3 - creativity challenge week

So one month flew by and suddenly I restart internship again tomorrow *sigh* can you believe that I said in the beginning of holiday that I was bored and would rather be having to go to work... Anyway so I thought it's about time that I continue on writing before all becomes faint memory.

Before I even applied to Ferrandi, I had been reading ex students blog and none of them mentioned anything about a challenge. Art class yes, final exam yes, visit to Rungis and study trip yes. So it came as a surprise to me... and when this challenge was revealed to us, I remember I thought to myself ohhhh masterchef invention challenge!!! How exciting... but then when further details about what we needed to prepare was revealed... Eeekkk there was way more expected of us than just preparing tarts and babas.

So yes, the challenge was that we had to firstly choose a combination of 2 ingredients and create a tart, and individual sized baba. Sound simple enough right ? but actually there were things to consider... because we had to also choose other fruits, nuts, chocolates, alcohol etc that we would like to use, also the shape of the tarts and the babas, write our recipes and consider also how we were going to decorate it...

Plus for this challenge we also had to prepare some sort of presentation for the juries, we had to draw our design, explain the elements, introduce our logo, describe the product. Honestly in the end, because I consecrated hours of my sleeping time for art class homework, I sped through doing the sketch for this project... I don't know whether it was because I was getting better due to intensive practice thanks to said homework maybe?? because I think my drawing and water colour skill went from nil to acceptable.

After the mid term break suddenly it became the season of creativity challenge. In class firstly we had to tell our chef what 2 ingredients we would choose. I spent a lot of time thinking about this... but I was like ummm maybe this and that or this and that... I like this and that as well hmmmm. Just like when I buy clothes, I won't buy it if I think hmmm it's ok but I'm not sure. It has to be oh, I love this.. straight away, and I know then c'est le bon. Ok so in the end, by serendipity I saw something on instagram... an attractive jar of jam that caught my eyes straight away, it says Carotte Vanille Passion and I knew straight away that's me to the T 100%.

Then the next step was that during class we were called one by one to sit with our chef and discussed a little bit what we had in mind, what shape, what mould, again the 2 ingredients we want to use... whether he thought it would work or not. Then we had to submit our preliminary recipes to our chef for him to check, again to see whether they would work or not. We also then had to submit our list of ingredients we need for the challenge, and also the final recipes.

In the beginning, I was crazy wanting to put this layer and that layer in a tart... luckily my good friend Bhupar always reminded me that it's a tart and not a gateau not an entremets. So in the end I pared it down to just something very simple that I was WORRIED that I would seem to not try hard enough. As for the baba, I think I was more sure that it was just going to be a simple one, and that I wanted it to look like a snow man with a carrot tip nose, carrot baba passion syrup creme chantilly a la vanille stop. But then again I thought they were going to think I didn't put any thought into this and so added a little mirepoix of carrot some raw some cooked in syrup. Anywho long story short, let's cut straight to the creativity challenge week because I need to go to sleep.

We started on Monday, where we picked up our fresh ingredients .. actually let me tell you some of my friends combinations that I could remember : pomegranate and pumpkin, red bean and matcha, fennel and yuzu, basil and balsamic, chilli and mint, mango and jasmin, olive oil and cinnamon, bacon and maple, passion fruit and banana, rose and yoghurt, sesame and lotus seed. On the first three days we were free to test our recipes and prepare whatever elements for Thursday big day!

Time flew by, five hours were nothing on the first day I did a few elements and were ok happy about it. I felt a bit too relax I think, then on Tuesday.... when chef said that he would like us to bring our tarts to our TA class later that afternoon so that we could all taste and comment I started to get a bit nervous... especially when I compared my tart (flat top) with other people's tarts (tall and generous looking). Nicolas also came to taste, we all tasted everybody's tarts and chef and Nicolas gave their feedback. Mine got tasted towards the end, I was ummm not confident... but SURPRISE! both said it was ok, don't change anything... perhaps change the tempered chocolate from milk to dark otherwise c'est bon. I said REALLY??? He said yes, FOR ONCE I said que c'est bon. Ummm ok, thank you.

On Wednesday everybody was quite frantic, chef also was running around fetching us this and that from different labs.. from time to time he would come and check on us one by one and asked whether we were ok... otherwise we were left working by ourselves but no one was playing around everybody was focused. Came Thursday, I arrived on time and I saw that it was quite something! Especially since the TV crew came again to cover our group. We were given an hour and a half to finish off whatever we needed to finish and then present our tarts and babas to the judges... in French. My chef was not around much because he was in the next lab introducing the students to the judges and played interpreter, but luckily we had Serge and Nicolas to help us with anything we needed help with. I have to say again how great our group is/was... everyone was helping and supporting each other.

My turn came and so I went into the boulangerie lab next door with some help carrying my tarts and babas. I noticed that one of the judge wasn't there so I said let's wait for him. It gave me time to check out who they were... there were 5, and I had met 3 of them. So I started to introduce myself bla bla bla and my 2 ingredients are bla and bla because bla bla bla. Then the drawings and my presentation thingy got passed around and they all had a look... some asked questions... why the top of the tart on the drawing is white whilst in reality it's dark ? They had a taste and I got ok feed back I asked them one by one for their opinion, they said a simple tart is good because otherwise it's too much and I honestly said to them that I too wanted to put this and that but then decided to abandon most of them. One of the chef said, the diced carrots in the baba were not fine enough... what else... I can't remember and that's why it's killing me that we haven't been given our feedback on this challenge!!!!! I saw that they all had a marking sheet and maybe some had comments that I would've liked to know!!

After that challenge I didn't feel like eating and so many of us saved our tarts and babas for the following day because we were to have a group lunch in the lab. That day ended on a high, everyone was excited to mingle with some big name chefs and we took heaps of photos. But no matter which celebrity chefs were around my favourite chef is still my chef so here is my favourite photo from that day.

Friday we cleaned and cleaned and prepared lunch and ate lunch together. The last supper as I called it. Ah and I did try my tart, the baba was ok BUT my tart... I found the texture of the passion fruit cremeux was not nice and too thick!!!! and so I am even more dying to know if any of the judges commented on it and what they really thought about it... because they were all really nice and politely said it was good but then on paper they might put meh right? and I want to know if it was because the tart was no longer freshhhhh or because I overcooked the bloody cremeux ... the one chef tried on Tuesday the texture was nice because I also tried.... but Arghhh I am not sure at all if the cremeux that the judges tasted was as pastey as how I thought it was the day after. I threw it out before anybody could taste, it was THAT bad... for me at least but I am very very very harsh on myself so I really hope that actually it wasn't THAT bad.

Photo of me cleaning... on the very Last Friday at school. Next time I will write about our final exam and the school trip.

Good night for now. Ciao!

Melinda x

The past month in retrospective part 2 - the week we were on level 4 lab

I am officially on a month holiday from last Saturday morning. Today is Tuesday and I am actually itching to do something slightly productive and hence I'm here typing away. So again, this recount is of something that happened more than a month ago, but I have a memory of an elephant... if only very selectively so you can (ahem) definitely rely that all I say here is accurate. Anyway, so this happened around mid June and it was our very last week of class and all week we were in the lab on level 4. Walking up flights of stairs with our rather hefty tool box at 7am in the morning was not cool! Especially because I always tend towards running slightly tardy and had to leg it in the morning... Those five days it felt like I had a mini work out every morning... legs, biceps, bum. It was like hurry hurry you are already so late hurry and when I arrived finally... out of breath like a puffer fish the lab was still locked. Not cool.

Anyhow it was probably one of the more special week, because first, it was our last week of class because after we only had the creative challenge week and then final exam and the trip. Second, we were on the 4th level lab and I liked it eventhough it's an older lab but I just liked the feeling of it, and we had nice view from the top and we could go out for fresh air and we got to have a peek at what the bachelor students were cooking up. Third, it was the week of ice cream cakes! then we had two days of sugar work which was quite amazing because sugar work is not normally for students of our level.

The week started with us not feeling familiar with the lab... I thought, maybe this would be how I feel when I first start my internship... everything not familiar and I had no idea what is kept where. On the Monday we made all the biscuits needed for the cakes and also all the appareils for the ice cream and sorbets, then on Tuesday we churned churned churned, built some of the cakes and on Wednesday we did the finishing. We made several different types of ice cream : sorbets, glaçes, parfait... we used them to make vacherins, omelettes norvegienne, oranges givrés and a couple of cakes called constellation and pomelo. They are all good, I loved especially the cointreau crème glaçé for the omelette norvegienne and the parfait vanille for the vacherin.. and the sorbet orange. Building them cakes were not easy easy because boy they were icy cold and to pipe for a long time was quite painful, and we had to be superfast for them not to melt. It was good to learn, I would love to recreate one day, because they were sooo good! We kept them for snack and breakfast for Thursday and Friday because nothing to eat really when doing sugar work!

The two days we did sugar work it was quite suspenseful because, the sugar breaks like glass if you are not careful. A couple of my friends broke their bases when transferring them for storage, and plus the elements were against us... during the two days we had rain and humidity is sugar worst enemy. Nevertheless, it was all new to me and I really liked it of course, if I had all the time in the world... pulling sugar could be my newest hobby eventhough even after only an hour or two my thumb became a bit swollen and plump.

We made the base and the structure on Thursday plus we made some leaves. On Friday, we were with our chef (Wed Thurs we were with Nicolas) and he showed us how to make roses and ribbon. Actually, a couple of things bummed me just a little bit on that day, first I didn't get a piece of ribbon because I didn't think it would run out! second, we didn't take a group photo eventhough it would had been the very very very last time we had class together and our sugar pieces turned out quite beautiful and we already had them presented on a table we just had to line up and smile. But no, no one cared.

So the very last group photo in the class was actually the one with all the ice cream cakes and our chef was initially very coy and had to be coerced a little bit to join the group photo.

That week also, we had our last French class. I really like my teacher and so it was quite sad to say good bye. Otherwise, we also had TA class with chef where we discussed about the formula to make sorbets and ice creams which was very very interesting!!! During another TA with Nicolas, we had a long discussion about internship and I really really appreciate how he communicated with us, he was sharing stories and I thought that he was very very good, motivating and passionate and really touched me. I said to myself that yes, no matter how hard it would be I will remember why I came to this school in the first place... that later when I look back, it would all be worth it and to see how far I've came from when I started bla bla bla.

I had done three weeks of internship before the shop closed for a month break, maybe one day I will write something about it. Umm thanks for reading, I know I had whinged too much here today but you know that it's all good times, I loved school and miss it. And here is the sugar piece I made... ribbonless and probably the most simple and my roses hadn't enough petals, but at least it survived till the end of the class (before they all went into the bin!)

Melinda x

The past month in retrospective part 1 - week of petits gateaux

This feels like ancient history now, the moment I'm typing this, I am 10 days in my internship. So long school life... :( So anyway, let me be nostalgic and resume with the week where we made petits gateaux. It was a busy week, we started preparing the elements for 3 days and to build the cake and the finishing took another 2 days. I think we made 7 different individual cakes : Tarte aux pommes revisitée, After eight, Fingers macarons, Le Banyuls, Le Mont Blanc, Finger chocolat cassis, Millefeuille pistache fruit rouges, and Verrine Dulcey.

We worked in pairs and I was lucky to have paired up with my besties Bhupar and Kiman. I think that week we had a little insight of how shops produced their petits gateaux, and how much more time and effort required to produce individual sized than a whole cake. We were like petits gateaux army, in the end there were so many cakes that even though we all could take however much we wanted there were heaps of leftovers. All were very good of course, my favourite firstly was the millefeuille because eating puff pastry fresh right after it's being built is the bomb. It was the The Bomb allright!! because as I was trying to reach out to the off cuts bowl my arm accidentally brushed the nozzle of a decapeur thermique alias the heat gun which is a kin to a mighty hot hair dryer used to melt chocolate. Now me and a few girls from my class are like members of a cult because we have burn marks around the same area from the same chocolate weapon.

Actually, many photos were taken on that friday, and because as times went by the bond got closer... the more recent photos including those taken that week are very dear to me. So just to keep it neutral and not too sentimental (I get a bit teary sometimes still looking at the photos... pathethic I know!), I'll just show you photos of the cakes.

Below are the tarte aux pommes revisitée, I remember that the day we finished the tarte aux pommes, the TV crews who had been coming in every now and then to film a documentary were there... I was quite surprised because I had never had a 'positive' comment from my chef other than pas mal before, that day I had a 'c'est bien ça... c'est propre' twice! Later that week I was sorting out my photos and I saw he was wearing a recorder underneath his apron. Ahhh, anyway I think Kiman and I did a good job on these tarts!

And the fingers macarons (with a reality shot of how messy my piping is) which were super simple really but very good! and can be very pretty and elegant... if you know how to pipe.

That week also, on Wednesday and Thursday we had Boulangerie class in the morning. We had to come in ready to go by 6.15. At that time it was WOAH! Nowadays I have to catch the first metro at 5.36 am to get to my intern place. When I used to work as an accountant, I hardly get in by 8.30. How quickly things change... Anyway, so we had 2 days intro to French breads with the new boulangerie teacher Didier, who is too nice. To be honest my baguette turned out so so. I didn't score them deep enough.... otherwise the class was informative and I learned new things for example, temperature of the dough, temperature of the water etc. Very interesting.... for a bread geek enthusiast like me.

Today is 5 months exactly since I arrived in Paris, my heart still feels a bit strung thinking that I finished school. That was what brought me here, and it's done. BOO HOO HOO. I don't know when I feel like writing part 2 of this entry... I get a bit sad still, shifting through photos reminiscing all the good times. It would be the last week of real classes before the creative challenge week and then the final exam and the final school trip. BOO HOO HOO again.

Melinda x

Another week of chocolate

Which also coincided with the week where we seemed to only have one topic to talk about.

The internship. A bit about that later.
So the week that's just gone past we did another round of chocolate... bonbons and honestly, they were really good! I love cookbooks but I had never been interested to buy a chocolate book, until last week. It's my current bedtime reading.

We made 12 different kinds of bonbons and my top three favourites in descending order are : Capuccinno, bi-couches passion/pâte de fruit abricot, and miel/orange. I love dipping them actually, though I really get annoyed when they don't look neat and chef kept saying that it wasn't a race and to do them properly.. He shouldn't probably say that because then I really took my bloody own sweet time and was behind everybody. On top of that my chocolate wasn't looking ok and I had to re-do the tempering 3-4 times and especially towards the end, it was thickening up abnormally. Grrrr, anywho I still love it and I really want to be good at it technically... maybe I should save up my measly internship salary to study further or buy a slab of marble or something.

So, about the internship.
Ummm it was announced on Monday evening, and I was deeply upset. I really thought that my chef considered me a mediocre underperformer :-/ and that's why he chose a place that for me was completely underwhelming. I am not keen on the products that they sell... and I thought that was most inconsiderate of him because I trusted him to choose something suitable and yet I really felt I was getting the leftover. Umm I don't go berserk often ok.... but I did this week, just a bit... that nowadays I feel a bit sheepish thinking about how inappropriate it was. But I was dissapointed because I felt that he had no confidence that I could make it through. Anyway, nowadays I prefer to think that maybe chef thought he was doing me a favour, because he said yes he chose the place because it would suit me and that they would look after you and Melinda, you are VERY slow... (thanks) so maybe he chose that place to protect me because I am small, slow and getting old (thanks). I didn't really expect him to forgive and forget that fast because he was angry at me for having been rude at him but after all the drama, (because actually he is very nice and honestly it was my fault, I should've controlled my emotion better) he said that he had already made another arrangement for me (thank you...) for which I really appreciate. . It's not all confirmed at all and I haven't been called in for an interview... but today I saw that the chef of the place had been recommended by Facebook as a "friend I might know". Ummm if he had been checking me out on fb I hope I gave a good impression. Anyway, I see it as a good sign and so fingers crossed. XX

On Thursday we did a presentation of our chocolates and took many photos and then we boxed them all into many ballotins that look like gold bars. Happy days! Because also on top of that, chef asked us to do croissant dough for Friday... I'd been wanting to practice croissant again because my last batch wasn't great. On Friday we also made some baba dough, which is great... because it allowed us to practice for the creative challenge! My croissants turned out not too bad, but far from perfect. One mystery about the shaping for me at least was solved and so I am happy about that, and by Friday I am again lovey dovey with chef Stévy hahaha he is the best!

One of my group mates made this yesterday, and I LOVE it so much! Everyone's got their own little detail and the ressemblance is quite uncanny. She is soooo talented my friend!! I can't believe that we only have 4 more weeks to go before we won't see each other everyday. Three weeks of classes and the very last week we are (just like in high school) going on a study trip! Group A and B are going together to Rennes and Vannes, 3 days 2 nights train trips and bus trips. I think I will be feeling bittersweet, I don't like partings...

Melinda xx

Ps. One of my fondest memory from last year was the Race to Survive (from which, months in advance I wanted to pull out many times because I didn't think I could do it but nobody let me), it turned out that the terrain was really tough even adult men said so, when we were 'racing' (or more like struggling really) people around me all said that I could do it and dragged me along when I most needed it, nobody ever told me to throw in the towel and give up and anyway it never crossed my mind to quit halfway. We had been warned that internship is going to be very tough, I just hope my little body don't break, wish me luck! I think I can do this!

The chocolate week one and week two

(Also known as the two weeks with the substitute teacher)

I actually gave a glowing review of the program during my mid term interview, because really I had so far had a good impression of the school. I am so lucky because I am in the BEST group, my group mates are lovely, I love our chef, our lab is brand new, I am learning a lot and what I like the most is that I'm learning to become a professional and that's exactly what I want.

But then I was asked if I had anything to add and I then expressed my displeasure that I didn't appreciate the fact we have 8 labs coming up without our chef. So that took place the past couple weeks, time flew by as usual and for once though I didn't mind so much. The sub teacher was ok, honestly he wasn't bad at all and he was very nice and polite but it was just different let's put it that way.

The fortnight started with a Monday public holiday, and on Tuesday we were with chef and we made 3 different kinds of gateaux de voyage and all three were good! I only took one home but I tried all of them. The next day, we made another 3 different cakes but even though they were pretty good and all looked quite pretty, I'd rather not put on more weight!! My birthday is coming and I just want to feel good about myself. Mid life crisis you say? Maybe....

On Thursday we started working with chocolate, our little project was to make a chocolate bonsai and sub teacher was quite organised, at the end of the day we had the pot and tree bark ready. Working the chocolate and shape it into a bark was HARD! Honestly I think my bonsai bark was one of the smallest because it was just bloddy difficult, it kept breaking and falling apart. Regardless what I just said, maybe because it's all new to me... I am completely fascinated by chocolate right now. I love to temper, I like that there is a science to it, that you have to be precise, that when you make a mistake... chocolate forgives, you can remelt and start again. What a magic substance!

We finished our masterpieces on Friday, and all day we had visitors who came to admire our work, sub chef was very happy and proud and we too were happy. It was an uplifting Friday. I was kind of looking forward for the following week which was just the week past, a very busy week! On Monday and Tuesday we made 4 large chocolate eggs, they weren't easy to make and my eggs were far from perfect.

Then we spent two days to make a lapin cretin. We made it out of different sized egg moulds and round mould for the eyes, it was very DIY and I don't know... difficult as it was, surely it shouldn't have taken so long to make ? I did enjoy making this piece but it was really like heart attack central in the oven room when we had to spray our lapin and our chocolate structure. I now look at chocolate show pieces on Instagram with a different pair of eyes... Amazement, because honestly... it's not easy peasy to make at all! On Friday we finalised the piece and I was just glad that I managed to not break my lapin nor my chocolate structure. At least 4 of us broke their lapin and had to patch it all up.. if that happened to me it would've probably been really difficult for me to catch up because I am still a bit slower than others.

Having said that though, I think I could pat myself in the back for having finished in the middle pack the past couple of weeks. My chef said to me during the interview that I think too much! I never realised that maybe I had been umming and aahing for a tad too long before I do something but so I consciously have been trying not to. So it's been like oh you have to attach both halves of the eggs together I was like ok bang bang bang. In the end one half got stuck onto a wrong half, the (not very) delicate dentelle should've gone with the roughly brushed half and I used a smooth egg half. I didn't stop to think but the job gets done and it wasn't the end of the world that I made a mistake HAH normally I would definitely get upset! Oh we have to cut the bunny's face for the mouth ok, let's cut.. normally I would stop and stare at the eyeless mouthless head for a few minutes to decide where I will cut the mouth where the eyes will go etc. In the end I think I was happier to have finished in good time rather than stressing out at the end trying to not be the very last and finished the piece poorly and gets disappointed in the end. So, well done me hehe.

Next week, our chef is back and a month to the day... it would be our last day at school. I am officially sad because I get along really well with my group buddies and we spent many hours everyday 5-6 days a week I will definitely miss seeing them everyday... (I think as for my cold hearted chef though... we would be replaced by a new batch of Anglo students and forgotten BOOO!!!).

You cross path then you say good bye. I hate that, mais c'est comme ça la vie.

Melinda xx

ps. I miss you Sydney friends xx

The week we had our mid term interview

Last week felt like a busy week maybe because the week before when we were not with our chef, we didn't have any TA class and the labs were very low tempo. Monday morning, I sauntered into the lab and my friend said .. do you know we are having an evaluation! WHAT?? Ah but when I found out it's Succès, ah chill... I would prefer a surprise evaluation than a weekend where I would be thinking about it. The succès was to be decorated with chocolate and after I scrolled on the posts I've liked on insta I decided to attempt this crown pretty looking thing that would go nicely and give some height.

Honestly! Instagram could be so deceiving sometimes! The short video makes it look so simple to do .. but bugger! it was so not do-able at all! I tried three times!! Anyway by then I started to panic because I hadn't made a single thing of chocolate decor and time ticked tocked really fast when you are under pressure. Bah! In the end my succès looked so unattractive I didn't take any photo. Normally, the pass/fail criteria for the evaluation is if sell-able then you get 10+ and if not then below 10. Chef said my sponge was ok, the colour was a touch under ... and the butter cream no problem but the rosaces could've been piped higher... I passed, but personally I wouldn't buy it. Maybe he should change the criteria to .. would people buy it ? because sure... you can put them out for sale but what if nobody buys them? right? But then again I think I would be getting under 10 and might end up developing some sort of depression haha.

On Tuesday, we made the mini choux and the nougatine for the croquembouche. Rolling out the nougatine was such a work out and you try to mould it into a baking pan to make the base, 2 seconds later ... Ouchy! So hot! If you wait around until it's cooler the nougatine mix will harden quickly and you would only get 1-2 meagre pieces everytime. It is a good thing to work with fast people... because I will try to keep up, and that day I was lucky to pair up with Bhupar mr rapidos. I didn't want to slow him down and I think I came in FIRST with all my pieces of nougatine lined up on a tray... UNBELIEVABLE!

On Wednesday morning I came in for my midterm interview with Brigitte and my chef. I had heard from the guys who had had their interview that you would be asked how you found the program so far, which I thought was a bit weird... I thought the evaluation was to review how I progressed so far like when I had a performance review at work more or less. But so yes, no it wasn't. How do you feel about the program? about the art class, about the wine class, about the demo, the excursions? Any remarks to add? euh yes, bla bla bla.

And then finally when we got to talk a bit about how I was faring... How do you think you are doing so far? Average. How is your French going? ok. About your internship, any thoughts? I had already decided to let chef decide for me because I trust him to have my best interest in mind. So I said, I leave it up to him but I also added that... (of course I secretly wanted to be placed in a hotel because of the prestige) my background is the hotel industry so I naturally would probably go for jobs at a hotel when I go back. Chef then said, you know how hotel works already then... so no *SLAM* I said euh I worked in the corporate office though not in the hotel... No hotel for you, it would be too tough for you, said my chef extinguishing my little hope. OH. So then ? In a shop. Okay. Get your CV and cover letter ready in French and you will later have to go to see the chef and have an interview in French, you ok with that? Fine.

Initially I was completely ok with chef saying no re: hotels because I had heard the hours are mighty long and hard work... but then during lunch I was chatting with a girl in my class and she's tiny! I think I look more solid (fat) compared to her and she told me that when she said she wanted to go to a 5 star hotel.. chef said that it would be hard work bla bla but he thought that she would be ok. When I first heard that I suddenly felt disheartened, whyyyyyy??? she and I are quite on par in class I thought. I was feeling a bit down for half a day or so but after some reflection... honestly I think I don't have the stamina for 12 hour days doing physical work 5-6 days a week not even if I was 15 years younger. So I am not envious anymore.

In the afternoon, we built our croquembouches. I really like building it.. and even though I'm not good in decorating 'free style' at all, in the end it looked ok, even quite pretty. We finished just before 8pm that evening it was a long day... and our croquembouches tragically ended up in the trash at the end of the day.

Thursday was a big day because we had another evaluation and this one was no surprise. It was the éclairs & religieuses & Royale evaluation that we had to miss because of the gas explotion. I actually ended up failing both my éclairs & religieuses (10 and 8 out of 20!) they were both overcooked and especially the religieuses they are all singed at the collar... black as charcoal they were. CRAP. My éclairs were too fat and looked so homemade. I cringed at how they look. Chef said the cream was ok, how I filled them was ok, choux pastry not too bad, Royale looked ok, the mousse he said he saw it was fine, my decoration as usual was awful. You know considering how much time I waste on instagram looking at pretty cakes I would learn to decorate better, but NO. But I really liked this evaluation because I felt like I had to really go go go otherwise I wouldn't finish on time, it was quite a thrill :)

Thursday afternoon we had a demo by a MOF in cuisine Fabrice Desvignes and it was great!!! I was tuning in completely and really, he was great and funny and seems very nice. The plated desserts that he made were pretty and at the end of the day I was so motivated to try harder on the presentation which so far often lets me down.

Friday, it was éclair redemption time. I love all the choux pastry family and it's ridiculous that I still couldn't make nice ones. I piped and repiped several times until I was relatively happy with the shape. Luckily they came out looking ok, at least they weren't cracking too too much and rather nice and slim. I had a bit of trouble with my caramel au beurre salé at first ... woah panic central because it looked a bit oily and strange but chef fixed it. Phew. I added a bit more salt to taste and I loved it! On top of that, one of them looked pretty good, it was a small victory for me... (even though the other 9 were still pretty moche!)

My gâteau basque.... argh I shouldn't had cared about being left behind the pack and could've left it in the blast freezer for another 5 minutes and it would've probably made a big difference. My egg wash too could had been a bit thinner I think, the egg wash was catching at the fork the pattern was not marked clearly and so it didn't come out as pretty as the others. It is still pretty good though, I quite like it.

Friday morning we had class where we were given recipes for this coming week... it would be a week of gâteaux de voyages.... and for the next two weeks, except for one day, we would be with a replacement teacher. Grumble grumble... I know that my chef can't be my chef forever but whilst I'm still at school at least. Anyway we'll see... no expectations no disappointment right? Grumble grumble...

During the midterm interview chef asked whether I was happy, it took me a second or two to answer because I had to stop and examine how I felt... I answered yes, I was (and am) happy. I have to mention that because ahhh, after I reread what I wrote it seems that I whinge a lot and you know, actually... on the inside I'm very happy :) I just want to get better! Whingers are amongst my least favourite human traits... and I hope that I never become one of those tiring people who complains all the time!!! And to you who bother to spend a few minutes to catch up on how I'm doing, I promise that I will do better next week so that I don't get upset and you won't have to read about it but it's hardddd as I am never one to lower the bar just to be content. Reach for the stars and all that right?

Bla bla bla. You have listened (read) enough for now, until next week maybe.

Melinda xx

Ps. I had my first visitor on Saturday. This lady who I used to work with, who in the past few years occasionally would say to me that I didn't belong in Australia I belong in Paris. She was the one who planted me the seed in my head last year and who would've thought that one year later I'm here. Thank you and love you Sandra! xx

The short week

Three days of school only then a 4 day long weekend! Woo hoo!! So this week... we had a substitute teacher, it was my turn to be chef of the week and we had another art class and art class = art homework plus we were also to hand in the preliminary recipes for our creative project on the same day. I never thought that I would ever find this hashtag appropriate for me but... #schoollyfe!

I think I might had mentioned in passing about our final project; we are to present to a panel, 6 creative individual babas and 2 tartes where by we are free to select our 2 flavours which would have to be present in both baba and tarte. When we had first been told of the project I thought eeeeekkkk!! how scary especially anything to do with the art work we have to present. But as time passes I am getting a bit more excited about this exercise. Maybe.... I can do this.

Art class was on Wednesday morning for 4 hours and even though I was better prepared with my art homework but I stayed up until after 1.30 am to make sure that I selected recipes that are quasi final for at least the basic elements of the creative challenge. So as the day started my battery was only at 65%. Pascal is really nice and to be fair, some of us had spent hours on the homework and so to have him examining each work for like 10 minutes, was a very nice gesture.

Anyway, consequently the class did run 40 minutes late so lunch for me wasn't an option. I should had already been in the lab 10 minutes ago, my hunger was already gone! but my battery was at the most, 40% and I was looking forward to the end of the day very much. Luckily it was the substitute teacher and he doesn't arrive normally until the time the class starts. So yeah, by the way for the three days we had a different chef and I am still TS. Team Stévy haha.

Let's not dwell too much as to why I didn't really enjoy the past 3 days. I'll tell you one of them though. I am in the please and thank you camp and so I don't appreaciate it when someone superior in rank swear when giving orders. I am not in the army nor in the navy! I am not opposed to people who swear if only sparingly and I even find it funny when used in the right context. But when he yelled I want the effing this and effing that, sorry no matter he said it to the whole class I don't like it and in my eyes he went down one rank. We will have another 2 weeks with a different substitute teacher who I heard from a friend in the cuisine class, swears a lot. Crap! Maybe I should expect the worse and so hopefully would be pleasantly surprised.

We made babas this week, and so it should had been a crucial learning week for us because simple as it may look, from what I read and seen there are important rules to follow to have them soaked properly etc. I felt though that we weren't explained enough and all week it felt a bit like an amateur baking class where the teacher was just there to ensure that our bake would come out ok.

On Monday apparently some of us prepared the crème mascarpone for the baba. I was a bit pissed because I completely missed it. What when how, why weren't we get called to watch how it's done. Anyway, the following day it went missing. Apparently it had been thrown away, because it had no label. I had NO IDEA that the stupid cream had been made, let alone knew where it's been kept in the fridge. I thought I had checked the bowls and containers in the walk-in fridge that they had been labelled before I left on Monday, nobody blamed me but I was still a bit upset at myself that it went 'undetected' because I should had had picked that up. GRRRRR.

Apart from the baba, luckily the other 2 tarts were pretty simple, and the barquettes marrons were also not super difficult, apart from the piping. My piping is horrid, I need to practice because it is really annoying me. Though in this photo they look especially ghastly because I had to carry many things that day, art class stuff, dirty uniform, a box and these barquettes unprotected in a cake carrier running down rue de Rennes to meet a friend. My piping is not THAT bad. Otherwise, the lab this week was a breeze actually, a lot of standing around.

Ok, enough rant about school because it's an extra long weekend and the weather in Paris is simply incroyable!!! Four day weekend is the best, I have enough time for everything... straigthening my hair, writing this post, cat naps, ironing my uniforms, a long bath etc.

On Thursday night we had a pot luck night at Raz's and the food looks amazing! I slow roasted a lamb shoulder for about 6 hours but I think it could've done with another few hours in the oven! And it's a bit too salty for me, and the lamb's flavour is different compared to lamb in Australia. A bit too strong for my liking. I can critisize it to death, it's my dish. Everybody else's dishes though were really good especially the panaeng curry! Yummers!

After dinner we played three rounds of twister, such a fun night ... I'm gonna say it again, I am so lucky to be in group A.

Next week we are making a croquembouche apparently. I'm looking forward to that.... I love choux.

Melinda xx

The week when we had a surprise evaluation and the week before spring break

By now everyone comes in so early that even when I come in by 7am I feel like I was running in late already let alone at 7.07 that's like super late! Well that Monday morning I think I must had arrived few minutes late because not only the recipes are already written on the whiteboard, some people are already weighing up ingredients. Written on the board : croissant evaluation. Whattttt?! our group were never told it was going to be an evaluation... but chef said that because we were pretty good at it he didn't worry. So anyway I got over the 'shock' quickly and proceeded to make the dough as normal. We were to bake them the next day when our chef would be with us, that day we had chef from group B supervising us.

Meanwhile in between dough resting we also made kouign amann. I thought I had already made awesome ones in the past but the ones we made at school that day were amazing! We added some vanilla powder and kapow! they became even more super tasty. My cat loves butter and will come from a different room when he smells butter and he could definitely detect butter in these.

On Tuesday we baked our croissants and pains au chocolat, the look of mine were not bad.... I made worse looking ones but of course they were far from perfect! I have a list of things I found wrong in them but chef was much more lenient, he said the shapes of my croissants were mmhhh not good, lamination not bad but the butter must had cracked and pains au chocolat shapes were irregular. At home I cut open each and everyone and he was right, I rolled the croissants too tightly and the one he said was correct had a nice crumb (below) the rest mmhhhh I'd rather not show. One of 8 correct is a definite fail for me but I passed the evaluation though. So gentle my chef haha.

On that day we also made Polonaises which I had never had nor heard before, they look so retro and they are rather good. Wednesday we started by making croissant dough again! I was excited because I thought I would have a chance to see if I roll the croissants lightly and don't press them too hard they would be wonderful but chef said NO when I asked if I could make some with the dough. So maybe one day before the weather turned too summery I would try make some AT HOME. Anyway, so I ended up with 8 super fatty pain suisse that I didn't want and 8 escargots pistache chocolat. We also made that day, some amazing looking and very delicious brioches feuilletée but I gave away everything.

On Thursday we went on another school excursion, to flour mill Moulins Bourgeois Verdelot outside Paris. We went with people from group B and it was a rather nice day because the weather was beautiful and the village is quaint and charming. The factory was quite amazing, I like watching production line and it was quite fascinating to see and to know how flour comes about on the supermarket shelves though this particular mill only supplies in bulk to several artisan bakeries in Paris. Here is a photo of group A looking cheery and well pleased with their goody bags.

Us and group B.

Friday we made tarte tropezienne, and there went another week. I think on Monday I had reached my fat quota for the week already but I took this tarte home. Love it!

The week after was the week before spring break and it was another week of entremets. It was honestly, perhaps my least favourite week so far.. from the start. If I was a soccer player I felt like I had the ball in the penalty area, someone tackled me we both fell and I was the one given the yellow card. That happened on Monday, quickly forgiven and forgotten but then on Tuesday I got another reprimand which I'm sure this time it was my fault but I couldn't remember what. From then on, I was like a player who was just playing careful not to make a mistake and hit anyone and so ran slower dropped the ball etc. Focus was just practically gone and plus there were so many elements we made on the same day for different entremets so I was just carrying on autopilot following what everybody does. NOT good because I was feeling a bit lost as to what was going on.

Only on Thursday after we finished everything I finally could sum up in my head what elements were in which. That week we made 6 entremets in 4 days :
1. Douceur Feminine (so good! biscuit noisette, cremeux citron, chantilly mascarpone vanille)

2. Garigues (top left, biscuit chocolat, cremeux clementine à la basilic, compoté mara des bois, mousse au chocolat à la basilic)
3. Entremets peanuts (my favourite, biscuit chocolat, cremeux tonka, mousse dulcey, crunch cacahuète)
4. Tea Time (biscuit chocolat sans farine, cremeux framboise, mousse chocolat lait thé earl grey)
5. Noumea (biscuit noisette, mousse banane ananas)
6. Praliné Citron (pain de gênes, mousse praliné, cremeux citron)

Then Friday came, we had another demo but I kept losing interest. Maybe it was because I had holiday already in my mind, maybe because it was a week where I wasn't feeling my best, but in the end I think it was because I had too high hopes after the last demo. As with everything, I have to learn to not have any expectations and just let things to surprise me. That was a nice segway for me to explain that last year I went to Iceland without any expectations and I was quite blown away. A few days ago I came back from a quick getaway again to Iceland, this time of course I knew already what I was in for, but again Iceland stepped it up one notch.. it was even better than I remembered it.

I stayed at the same hotel next to the blue lagoon and the hotel had been redone and I loved it even more. Last year I found the surface of the blue lagoon was rough and rocky and I found that they had made it more pleasant and smooth. I found the people kind and friendly... the food fresh and delicious, the colours a palette of vivid and sombre unlike anywhere I had seen. The weather was amazing especially the day I visited the blue lagoon.

I can't wait to go again, but meanwhile... school restarts tomorrow and I'm all refreshed body and mind. The whole week we will be with chef from group D which I'm not especially happy about... because no matter how, I am still very fond of our chef and think that he is the best. But I suppose variety is good and I shouldn't have any expectation plus it is a very short week... where we will have another art class!! I am looking forward to the second half of our course but definitely not looking forward to the end. I am definitely going to try to make everyday the best day ever and not to think and worry too much about anything. Except for maybe, the art homework.

Melinda x

Ps. Wednesday before the holiday, some of us took a picnic rug and snacks to Parc des Sceaux. As pretty as I remembered it with all the cherry blossoms.

The week when we had another art class

Remember how we had the evacuation situation on Friday due to a gas explosion nearby ? well, school had to ensure safety and cancelled all classes on Monday. I had heaps of art homework due on Wednesday and on that Monday our chef would be teaching a different class and we were to have the 'substitute teacher' for our macarons making day, so that didn't happen either and everything worked out for the best in the end.

School life resumed to normal on Tuesday, by the way it was the week of petits four secs. We started by making our filling for the macarons, the flavours were : pistache/fleur d'oranger, mangue/passion, chocolat au lait/gingembre, chocolat/menthe, cafe, citron, and chocolat. I chose mangue/passion and it turned out really nice, second favourite after citron and chocolat au lait/gingembre my third favourite. Then we made madeleines and financiers, as well as four poches which were to be baked the following day. We also made and baked the macarons shells which we freezed for the next day. We were told that all the macarons that we had bought and ate, would had been frozen guys, nothing would had been sold fresh. Somehow I wasn't surprised at all because by now, if I could afford it and have lots of space it would be really wonderful to have a blast freezer and a freezer the size of a cupboard and a walk in fridge please.

Wednesday was quite hectic.. ok so first thing in the morning at 8 am we had our second art class. I thought art class had been postponed to May and even when on Monday I had a free day I only did a little part of the homework, just the eggs in black and white and THAT took hours. It turned out that art class was ON! WOAH SHOCK! I had soooo much to do and I was so regretful of being such a slack throughout the long weekend. I slept so late for my standard, i.e. 12.30am but I know that some friends slept like only an hour! to do this art homework. The class itself I like it's just that the homework is dreadful. Our teacher is a MOF from 1979 haha and he is such an adorable character. By the end of the morning I was quite proud of my artwork.

Unsurprisingly art class ran soooo late, we were again given so much homework which in the end made me laugh because of the ridiculous amount of work he asked. I only had two pieces of bread and butter for lunch because we had to run to our lab.

We baked trays and trays and trays of madeleines, financiers, four poches, diamants and piped trays and trays of macarons. We also baked some langues de chats and tuiles aux amandes. We were like a factory more or less, and here is the result of our 2 days work. Ta daaaa....

On Thursday we had a demo by a world champion in patisserie and glaces and it was great! Really great! Yazid was very organised and clean, his work is impeccable and beautiful. He was really interactive and very nice guy, I sat on the very front row and maybe because I was very attentive listening to his every word, I got called up to help him decorate. I think all of us were very impressed by this guy and we all like him and so the atmosphere was very jovial and we took lots of photos, I have lots of photos from that day but I will just show you my favourite. This is like a tableau this photo haha.

On Friday it felt a bit flat because the demo was like the highlight of the week and that day we made 'simple' stuff that I still managed to not get correct ARGH. When I make mistakes I learn to not do it again but in my head I kick myself everytime I don't get things right and I feel really annoyed. I was especially kicking myself when I didn't put the pectine bit by bit when making the pâte de fruit because I was telling myself like a mantra to put the sugar and pectine bit by bit and suddenly HOP I tipped the whole bowl into the saucepan. The bloody thing turned lumpy and I had to strain and plus the colour, rather than transluscent and clear became milky and dull. It should've been so simple and something like that makes me worried that maybe I am just going to be mediocre :( You live and you learn right? Anyway so we made guimauve, pâte de fruits, caramel au beurre salé, and nougat montelimar. . and I loved them all because they were a far cry from packaged stuff especially the guimauve. The day finished with us wrapping the caramel au beurre salé and the nougat with cling wrap ONE BY ONE.

I was glad the week was over because... the following week we would have another week of viennoiserie! and we would make some kouign amann one of my very favourite!

As I'm typing this, we are on spring break which means that we are already halfway through the course. It's only Monday and I'm already missing school. I don't know how I would feel when the 18 weeks is up honestly. I'm such a lame sentimental I know.... *sigh*

Melinda x