Honestly! Instagram could be so deceiving sometimes! The short video makes it look so simple to do .. but bugger! it was so not do-able at all! I tried three times!! Anyway by then I started to panic because I hadn't made a single thing of chocolate decor and time ticked tocked really fast when you are under pressure. Bah! In the end my succès looked so unattractive I didn't take any photo. Normally, the pass/fail criteria for the evaluation is if sell-able then you get 10+ and if not then below 10. Chef said my sponge was ok, the colour was a touch under ... and the butter cream no problem but the rosaces could've been piped higher... I passed, but personally I wouldn't buy it. Maybe he should change the criteria to .. would people buy it ? because sure... you can put them out for sale but what if nobody buys them? right? But then again I think I would be getting under 10 and might end up developing some sort of depression haha.
On Tuesday, we made the mini choux and the nougatine for the croquembouche. Rolling out the nougatine was such a work out and you try to mould it into a baking pan to make the base, 2 seconds later ... Ouchy! So hot! If you wait around until it's cooler the nougatine mix will harden quickly and you would only get 1-2 meagre pieces everytime. It is a good thing to work with fast people... because I will try to keep up, and that day I was lucky to pair up with Bhupar mr rapidos. I didn't want to slow him down and I think I came in FIRST with all my pieces of nougatine lined up on a tray... UNBELIEVABLE!
On Wednesday morning I came in for my midterm interview with Brigitte and my chef. I had heard from the guys who had had their interview that you would be asked how you found the program so far, which I thought was a bit weird... I thought the evaluation was to review how I progressed so far like when I had a performance review at work more or less. But so yes, no it wasn't. How do you feel about the program? about the art class, about the wine class, about the demo, the excursions? Any remarks to add? euh yes, bla bla bla.
And then finally when we got to talk a bit about how I was faring... How do you think you are doing so far? Average. How is your French going? ok. About your internship, any thoughts? I had already decided to let chef decide for me because I trust him to have my best interest in mind. So I said, I leave it up to him but I also added that... (of course I secretly wanted to be placed in a hotel because of the prestige) my background is the hotel industry so I naturally would probably go for jobs at a hotel when I go back. Chef then said, you know how hotel works already then... so no *SLAM* I said euh I worked in the corporate office though not in the hotel... No hotel for you, it would be too tough for you, said my chef extinguishing my little hope. OH. So then ? In a shop. Okay. Get your CV and cover letter ready in French and you will later have to go to see the chef and have an interview in French, you ok with that? Fine.
Initially I was completely ok with chef saying no re: hotels because I had heard the hours are mighty long and hard work... but then during lunch I was chatting with a girl in my class and she's tiny! I think I look more solid (fat) compared to her and she told me that when she said she wanted to go to a 5 star hotel.. chef said that it would be hard work bla bla but he thought that she would be ok. When I first heard that I suddenly felt disheartened, whyyyyyy??? she and I are quite on par in class I thought. I was feeling a bit down for half a day or so but after some reflection... honestly I think I don't have the stamina for 12 hour days doing physical work 5-6 days a week not even if I was 15 years younger. So I am not envious anymore.
In the afternoon, we built our croquembouches. I really like building it.. and even though I'm not good in decorating 'free style' at all, in the end it looked ok, even quite pretty. We finished just before 8pm that evening it was a long day... and our croquembouches tragically ended up in the trash at the end of the day.
Thursday was a big day because we had another evaluation and this one was no surprise. It was the éclairs & religieuses & Royale evaluation that we had to miss because of the gas explotion. I actually ended up failing both my éclairs & religieuses (10 and 8 out of 20!) they were both overcooked and especially the religieuses they are all singed at the collar... black as charcoal they were. CRAP. My éclairs were too fat and looked so homemade. I cringed at how they look. Chef said the cream was ok, how I filled them was ok, choux pastry not too bad, Royale looked ok, the mousse he said he saw it was fine, my decoration as usual was awful. You know considering how much time I waste on instagram looking at pretty cakes I would learn to decorate better, but NO. But I really liked this evaluation because I felt like I had to really go go go otherwise I wouldn't finish on time, it was quite a thrill :)
Thursday afternoon we had a demo by a MOF in cuisine Fabrice Desvignes and it was great!!! I was tuning in completely and really, he was great and funny and seems very nice. The plated desserts that he made were pretty and at the end of the day I was so motivated to try harder on the presentation which so far often lets me down.
Friday, it was éclair redemption time. I love all the choux pastry family and it's ridiculous that I still couldn't make nice ones. I piped and repiped several times until I was relatively happy with the shape. Luckily they came out looking ok, at least they weren't cracking too too much and rather nice and slim. I had a bit of trouble with my caramel au beurre salé at first ... woah panic central because it looked a bit oily and strange but chef fixed it. Phew. I added a bit more salt to taste and I loved it! On top of that, one of them looked pretty good, it was a small victory for me... (even though the other 9 were still pretty moche!)
My gâteau basque.... argh I shouldn't had cared about being left behind the pack and could've left it in the blast freezer for another 5 minutes and it would've probably made a big difference. My egg wash too could had been a bit thinner I think, the egg wash was catching at the fork the pattern was not marked clearly and so it didn't come out as pretty as the others. It is still pretty good though, I quite like it.
Friday morning we had class where we were given recipes for this coming week... it would be a week of gâteaux de voyages.... and for the next two weeks, except for one day, we would be with a replacement teacher. Grumble grumble... I know that my chef can't be my chef forever but whilst I'm still at school at least. Anyway we'll see... no expectations no disappointment right? Grumble grumble...
During the midterm interview chef asked whether I was happy, it took me a second or two to answer because I had to stop and examine how I felt... I answered yes, I was (and am) happy. I have to mention that because ahhh, after I reread what I wrote it seems that I whinge a lot and you know, actually... on the inside I'm very happy :) I just want to get better! Whingers are amongst my least favourite human traits... and I hope that I never become one of those tiring people who complains all the time!!! And to you who bother to spend a few minutes to catch up on how I'm doing, I promise that I will do better next week so that I don't get upset and you won't have to read about it but it's hardddd as I am never one to lower the bar just to be content. Reach for the stars and all that right?
Bla bla bla. You have listened (read) enough for now, until next week maybe.
Melinda xx
Ps. I had my first visitor on Saturday. This lady who I used to work with, who in the past few years occasionally would say to me that I didn't belong in Australia I belong in Paris. She was the one who planted me the seed in my head last year and who would've thought that one year later I'm here. Thank you and love you Sandra! xx
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